1. |
output
02:43
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What will I remember about this?
Epic bus routes, hurried phone calls,
Early morning turning up my collar
At the first bitter hint of being tired.
Everything I've ever known,
Crowded in and around,
Closer than I've ever known,
Getting short of breath
Closer than I've ever know.
Curled up in that nest
That sunken swimming state
Of moving without feeling
But finding hope in leaving.
The resistance to change,
Hesitating in a phrase.
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2. |
mineral
02:29
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I should have known
Borrowed time is never enough.
Seeing you leaves me a mess,
Doing my best to forget.
Tinted glass to protect your eyes
Doing everything to keep me out.
Some nights you come back
To haunt me in my sleep.
But it's not just nights, sometimes days,
Reminding me in every way
That time ran out long before,
Long before you disappeared.
Fading into walls
Fading in and out of my mind, always present,
Piercing eyes glaring back
Then with a blink you're gone.
Open ended questions are the worst,
Leave me hanging, holding on.
Doors don't open, windows painted shut,
Locked in I close my eyes but you're still there
Lying heavy on my chest, stop thinking to remember to breathe.
My skin tightens on my back and neck
Hairs on my arm stick up straight
x
x
I might watch the beams rot away before I hear a sound,
Before I see more than this visual echo.
Come on take up space in this silence so wide and deep.
You won't have control.
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3. |
miles
02:33
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Late night car drive,
Headlights glare on your face.
Stripes and wires and your wide eyes,
Turn off the radio.
You talk to me cause you've got no one else
Who will listen to you, when you say
Some things get better, but the worst get worse.
With all the comfort of ritual and the safety of rules,
I didn't want to hear you say it,
You probably didn't want to tell me,
And I think, I'm too young for this.
Empty jars that we need to fill,
Wiping ashes from the window sill
This work replaces prayer.
Empty jars that we need to fill,
Wiping ashes from the window sill
Because there isn't anyone to pray to.
We work all our lives and our work is cheap, our work is cheap.
Just give us something to hold,
Just give us someone to hold.
Some days it's too hard for me to get down on my knees
And scrub tracks off the kitchen floor.
Some days it's too hard for me to get down on my knees
And settle with hope for something more.
But I still think I'm too young for this.
Just give us something to hold,
Just give us someone to hold.
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4. |
born 2b wild
03:27
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Born from wolves, we run like wolves,
No cage we can't escape.
We travel light, quiet and fast,
Nothing to slow us down.
Each step of our stride
Barely touching the ground,
The pads of our feet callused and hard.
I just wish it didn't have to end (so soon).
We could run, run forever,
No looking back to see our wake,
And all that we left behind
Because it doesn't matter now.
I just wish it didn't have to end (so soon)
I could run like this forever.
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5. |
puddle of mud
01:56
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I wait impatiently
For this feeling to escape me.
Always there in the back of my head,
Always there to send me back down.
And I begin to climb out
Of this hole, you throw me back in.
It's not the fall that hurts
It's the impact and trying again and again.
This wall that keeps me here
I hope to scale someday.
I'll be out, I'll be free.
You won't have a hold on me.
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6. |
no breakfast
01:39
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You drive for days to get further away
From that taste in your mouth.
Cold coffee, stale bread, maybe something I said
Got stuck in my breath, caught in the cold air,
Frozen in April.
But I'm still, I'm still, too stiff to move.
Who ever taught you to see this way?
Who ever taught you to talk this way?
Who ever taught you to feel this way?
Who ever taught you to think this way?
You make that sound when you breathe
Like you're trying to speak
But I know you don't have words for me.
Lying on my side all I can feel is jeans that are too tight.
This is how I move just so, just so.
This is how I talk just so, just so.
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7. |
shelter
02:56
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If my limbs don't hold me up they drag me down.
If the ground doesn't hold me up it pulls me down.
Finding my way down the dark halls of this house,
The floorboards creak but the walls dampen every sound.
The dead left but didn't leave room for us,
I know now what it means to believe in ghosts.
Walking on the dead wood,
Washing clothes in dirty water,
When you saw the trees shake and shiver
You knew the shelter was gone, so you went to clear a path
And build a roof over your bed without something haunting the framework
To live the myth of the pioneer.
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8. |
lace up
03:27
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This is not a cry for help
We all have our addictions
It takes a while to understand
Someone's hidden forms of self-abuse.
I don't want anyone's help
Not showing any signs
How slow I feel or
How fleeting satisfaction is.
But now I know what I want
Like a cut or a hawk
Concise, clean, believing
A slice through memory.
I wish I was moving mountains
Wish I could know my hands
Try to see past my hands.
In the back of my mind
I've always known it's been,
Been about control
A fight with myself.
Feelings worry at loose threads,
Threaten to rip the seams
That are holding everything.
Holding it all in.
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